Honestly, based on this last post you made, I think you are being VERY unfair to your husband. You're basically asking if you can use him so that you can continue to enjoy the financial security he provides, without you having to "give up" the things that are fun and relaxing for you. It seems rather selfish to me. You're going to have to ask your HUSBAND if you can stay married but be divorced in theory. I seriously doubt how he'd find that to be fair to him.