I did try to bring it up, I don't speak very well and got very frustrated and shut down. It's like he hears my voice but it is just sound, he doesn't hear my words. I've started writing him a letter, maybe that will work better.

He did come to a T session with me, a long time ago. In the session, it seemed like it was registering with him. My T didn't get into the details out of respect for me, but stressed the importance of mutual respect and consent.

Things have been okay for a while, probably because I just comply. I'm pretty good at tuning the act out until it is done. The last 3 months or so it has been harder and harder to stop paying attention. There is too much in my head and too many reminders of childhood.

I guess I'm the one who keeps changing the "rules" in this relationship and I have a hard time telling him about boundaries because I don't have a good concept of boundaries myself.

Sorry, I just keep rambling... I'll work on the letter more today...