So during my last hypo-mania..i again felt really good and was convinced i didn't need medications anymore...i was at work doing A GOOD JOB, AT SCHOOL I WAS HANDING IN ENTIRE 15 PAGE PAPERS 6 MONTHS EARLY BECAUSE I JUST DIDN'T SLEEP AND HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO OTHER THEN I GUESS DO MY HOMEWORK. I was going out every night (sorry about the caps that was an accident i am too lazy to fix. Regardless....life was pretty good....and i was really sure...like on a scale of 1-10 i was 11 sure that i was really didn't need medication. It's the same lie every time..and i do this exact same thing every few months. I just quit.

Everyday since then has been getting worse and worse, i am now only wearing jogging pants...i dont brush my hair i'm so lazy....i sleep constantly and things are too exhausting. The other day i fell down the stairs...honestly..i feel like i was too lazy to walk down them and that's why i just collapsed down them. I dont want to leave my house and people are calling me and texting me asking if i need to talk..so i must be giving off some kinda vibe...or maybe they have eyes and can see that i stopped caring for myself. I also can't get any of my school work done now alt all. My house is a disaster..and i can't do it..i can't clean or get dressed or do school work i cant do anything....i can't even walk down the damn stairs.

So easy answer "go back on meds" but...something has to change..or in 3 months i will be right back here again...something has to change BEFORE i start them again and i have no idea what it is. I know i haven't really..been active on the forums either...i assure you..i have been reading ..but just only have the energy for a couple posts a day....and no reply's...i just i'm really just confused..I'm not stupid....and i know very well well whats gonna happen...i must want this deep down somewhere...i must love depression.