Quote:
Originally Posted by TayQuincy
Rainbow, are you really saying that granite's T made her terrified of talking and made her feel horrible about herself? This kind of validation for feelings based on distortions is harmful imo.
How exactly is granite's T making her feel horrible about herself? Terrifying her? What are the FACTS? Granite feels these things but are they based on facts? I don't think so.
Granite, you could be on the verge of a real breakthrough with this therapist if you would be willing to try to work through this instead of running away. Could you write on a piece of paper your feelings and tell her you want to try to work through this with her and then bring it with you and read it to her? Just a sentence or two so you dont get overwhlemed? Sometimes a "rupture" can be the catalyst to a major breakthrough. If it doesn't work out then of course you can find another T. It's your choice to make. You are not a horrible person and your T is not saying that! Please look at the facts before making any decisions.
Remember MUE's rupture and how everyone jumped on the "get a new T" bandwagon? Well MUE worked through it and as painful as it was it worked out for the better.
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(((tay)))
i really do get what you are saying about looking at the facts .i realy do.and i am really trying to .maybe i will post a list and i can get some help because i just dont know all of it.i know some of it is me but not all.i know my T didnt make me terrified to talk to her that is all on me i have never found it easy to talk if at all.but what my T did made me terrified of her not talking.if it was a distortion or not i was terrified of her and i will never be able to work with someone i am that scared of or has the ability to scare me that much or to make me feel that bad.
some facts
changing the routine of bringing me into the office.i did write her a letter in the past about that and she knows it freaks me.but this day she changed it again.this is a fact.she did change things.knowing i need this consistancy.so i dont freak being in her office.so yes my feeling was fear but it was based on the fact that once again she changed the routine
fact..
she did say "what no hello today?"when she sat down.how is saying something like this helpfull.i never say hello i do smile when she says hello to me as i am sitting down.yes this made me panic.a feeling but it is based on a fact she did say this to me.
got to get back to work my lunch is over.yay doing this is accually helping and would love to keep working on this list