Here is something you can do. When you have a few moments alone, think back over the years and try to recall the times she has said "I wish you ..." and write down the things she wished you would do, even if she no longer says those things. Examples might be "would fix the back door so it doesn't squeak" or "would put your dirty socks in the hamper instead of throwing them under the bed" or "pay the bills on time" or "would stop trying to kiss and hug me when I am on the phone talking to my mother." Then, where you are able, start doing those things (or stop, as the case may be) So often problems in the bedroom, or to put it more generally, feelings of being unloved, are a reflection of the other person feeling 'unloved' because the person's expressed wishes were ignored. My advice is about ordinary things, but following it might bring you the results you seem to be wanting, if I understand you correctly.