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Originally Posted by palemoss
So, last fall I probably had one of the most intense manic cycles of my life. I also have (mild) BPD.
Promiscuity, drunk every other night, becoming everyone's friend, doing just - really ridiculous stuff (often involving sex, seduction), leading people on, and oh raging at my now ex-boyfriend for not wanting to go to a concert with me (i pretty much went to his house, screamed at him and got my stuff back and then went off with another dude for the night...UGH), but still managing to get a 4.0 gpa in college and accomplishing a lot.
Anyway, right now I am taking a break and trying to get "well" through therapy, volunteer work, some homeopathic/holistic remedies, and exercise. It's working, I think. After my "wellness break," I hope to be able to go back out and having with my friends (the ones who are still left) and just have fun again. I feel like my reputation is stained though - people know me as the "crazy" girl.
How do I address the change that is occurring in me? Do I even at all? I want to most of all apologize to my ex. Alcohol, reckless sex, and no boundaries are no longer going to be apart of me.
Has anyone else dealt with the aftermath of a manic cycle? What type of damage control did you do?
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It sounds like you are doing so much to take care of yourself so you should be VERY proud of yourself for that. Great job!
I think your friends will be more understanding...I have friends who have seen me through some "crazy" times....and stuck with me through everything....that's what true friends do, even when I wasn't the best friend to them. When you are ready you can start talking to them about what was going on then, and what is going on now.
As far as your ex...i had one of those too...we were very young and i waited quite a few years before I contacted him to apologize...I knew we weren't getting back together, but I did want him to know I felt badly for my behavior and that i wasn't like that anymore...i sent him an email and he responded and told me he forgave me.
Bottom line, take care of yourself first which you seem to be doing.
