Hey Lee, I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm thirtynine, and for most of my son's childhood I was desperately fighting my "crazy" so that nobody would find out and take him off me. It finally got so bad that I had to go to the doctor and be honest about what whas happening... It was the single scariest thing I've ever had to do in my life.

Since divulging my problems to the doctor I've finally had a proper diagnoses, and the meds have cut the crazy dead in its tracks. All I can say is that I hope you have the same good fortune I did. You can't possibly get help unless you ask for it... don't make the mistake I made and wait decades to get help. My illness started when I was sixteen. You're lucky that yours is starting later, and that you have the maturity and self awareness to recognise it. If you get help now you have a very good prognosis indeed, and it will benefit your children.

Pop back in here and let us know what's happening. You're a Mom, and you're a good Mom, because you have the best wishes of your children at heart. Don't beat yourself up, and don't be afraid of help.

God bless.