I ended up going to bed and lying there...going minute by minute to Not do anything to myself. Eventually I fell asleep, bad sleep--but safe sleep. I took a nap this afternoon and again just a bit ago. Feeling better, today...still a bit unreal.
He's usually good, Lexi...but I think it would be hard to understand if you don't have it. I wasn't upset, just felt unreal--I thought that was why it was psychosis, I felt like that but worse last week (when I didn't take my pills for a couple days). I'm just not sure what was going on...one reason I felt so scared last night. The burns, punches and headbanging that I did last night still don't hurt today. I don't know what to make of that either.
I think he thinks I want to go back to the hospital...its not that I want to go back--but the way things are going I think it may be neccessary. =/
Thank you backandforth for trying to track my circular logic and the support you gave in chat {{{{{back}}}}}
Thanks to everyone who replied {{{{everyone}}}}
Ok, thanks so much {{{{Lexi}}}}