i can remember watchin the show Dallas with my mom in the eighties & when someone on there took a drink & they made that sound afterwards like they had just swallowed pure moonshine it just freakin fascinated me. i was born in 1974 so during those years even in the early part of Dallas when i was really young i was still fascinated well now i can say there wasnt much i didnt drink during my alky years including some stout homemade moonshine & i know why they made that noise after a shot of whatever. my alcohol tolerance was soo high so soon my dad told me his dad was an alky who would hit his mom & run the kids out of the house in the dead of winter. huh kind of like the scene in forest gump when it shows their childhood & the dad wakes up from his stupor runnin thru the cornfield with a bottle lookin for his girls. i didnt grow up around any of it but i guess where i was in a lonely private mental hell as a kid i got drunk at a ballgame when i was 14 that was it & i didnt burn the candle at both ends i threw it in the fire for many years. things just still haunt me actually after that incident at 14 i had one beer the summer i was 15 but actually 16 is when everything went to crap thats all i cared or thought about was the bottle & of course the cocaine & crack when i got into that & then later after a 5 year period of sobriety i relapsed & it set off some full blown manic behavior i didnt have earlier ended up in a cemetary with an alky man one day & long story short i ended up in handcuffs on the side of the main road cuz i fought the cops so hard like a wild animal i sat there with all the local traffic goin by lookin while they figured out what to do with me i was filthy skinny as a rail & just so beaten down by it all i was so angry that day cuz i didnt wanna be found just wanted to drink myself to death all they did was take me in a state police car to an overnite dryin out place & write me a ticket for public intox when what i really needed was taken to a place where they couldve helped me long term on the way down i talked to the cop who was nice & he ended up tearin the ticket up a few weeks later when i was sober & met up with him like he said he would do if i didnt drink & i was straight. geez this is just a small event from one day out of many years why didnt someone help me as a child maybe if i hadnt gone thru all of that i wouldnt know how big & loving & sustaining & forgiving a God i serve now i see middle school kids into all this & even if u try & tell them they just see me as someone who is 36 & not cool Lord if we only had all of it on film they mite decide its not so cute after all