you guys are all amazing..... thank you! I feel myself falling into these things where I can't find a way out, and nothing makes sense anymore.... it just all feels very overwhelming- constantly. I wish I really did know a way out. I know there is no quick fix, I try, believe me, but I know at the end of the day I am stuck facing myself and my life.
thank you for saying I can pm you.. and for replying, I feel bad b/c I know all of you are going through a lot of things too, but it feels good to know I'm not completely alone, and trust me, I FEEL alone even though I know I'm not.

to answer your question, I'm not in therapy at the moment, but I'm trying, for once to get to that point. I just can't do it anymore, I really can't. And when I think about it, I'm in my early 20's, life shoudln't be this bad.... not this bad... it'd be nice to think that some day it won't be.... (((((everyone))))) honestly, thanks...