You ask a very GOOD question! Its good you want to do something positive with your marriage!

I am coming from a perspective of a women whose bf of 7 1/2 years, (which also feels like a dead end relationship) has morphed from a super involved, caring, loving, fun communicative guy to an unresponsive, "busy," "tired" person who makes tons of excused and never does anything to get better.

So I have a lot of suggestions for you to improve the issues with your wife. You might want to brace yourself for this, lol

-Don't act like affection, saying i love you and hugging is obligatory, do it with romance, passion and love! She can tell the difference in the way you do it.

-Do everything you say you are going to do when you say you will do it.

-Don't NOT do the tiniest little things that you think she won't notice. she will notice even if she says nothing.

-Don't EVER tell her you will do something and you don't do it! Its far better to either surprise her with something. Its about trust. and lack of follow through reinforces her lack of trust. Follow though is key in building trust remember.

-Build trust and maintain it and don't send a wrecking ball through it.

-Don't stop doing things because you think she doesn't care, she may never say she does BUT SHE DOES CARE!

-Talk to her, build the relationship, it takes time for a women to get back into something when things that been so cold and dead for so long. Keep trying it may take months or even a few years to get back on track but it can be done.

-Don't be selfish, that's why marriages dry up because 1 or both partners are selfish in some vital relationship killing ways.

-Ask her how she feels, about you getting closer and working on the marriage. Just ask her. Don't beat around the bush and be scared of her response.

-In fact ask her how she feels about EVERYTHING, and CARE how she feels and show you care.

-Don't make excuses, own your short comings and work on them sincerely.

-Be courageous in your marriage relationship. Men who cower down from stepping up and fixing what needs to be fixed make it very hard for a women to trust and want to be with. You are taking the first steps to being courageous, just make sure you keep it up.

-Help her with whatever she needs help with the first time she asks.

-Banish from your vocabulary "I'm tired", "I'm busy" "I don't feel like it." These phrases may stop cold all your progress!

-When she gives you a critique, listen, listen, listen even if she is mean about it there is surely some truth to it, listen and take action and work on yourself to get better.

-Most importantly, your wife notices and CARES, chances are good that she is just afraid to say anything because she doesn't want to be disappointed.

Women "like": to be put first, treated as we are important to our man, to have a stable, loving relationship, to not have to worry if our man is there for us, to be our companion, protector, provider at all times, to have a man that is dependable, courageous, solves problems, loving, caring. This is only the tips of the iceberg. But hopefully you get the idea. These things are really not a matter of a women liking these are basic and vital to the health of a marriage.

In closing, it takes two to tango and its not all her fault. But at least you are trying to work things out. Just be proactive at all times, don't get discouraged if she doesn't response to you for a long time, she will soften up eventually, but only if she sees you as serious about the marriage and relating to her better.

Knowing that you are making an effort to change things should give you hope.

These are the things I'd tell my boyfriend and if I thought he would respond I would tell him but I've done some much to make him aware of the fact that he has become so uninvolved and uncommunicative. And he has not responded to anything other than with "I'm tired, I'm busy" He has left me hanging many times and I feel like I don't know him anymore.

My bf has schizophrenia so I don't know if he is doing this because his illness is getting worse or changing him or if he really doesn't care about me anymore. And I have no way of knowing.

What causes a man to become so indifferent in a relationship? What caused you to become indifferent in your marriage? Just curious.

Anyway, I hope this helps, I don't know you so I don't know if you have done these things already. I believe in being straight forward so I hope this wasn't too blunt for you. I just think these things are vitally important for a man to do whether he is in a committed relationship or married.