Hey, I'll try to make this as short as possible.

Ever since I can remember, I've always been the quiet, mysterious silent type. I would never speak to anyone about how I am feeling. Whenever I have a problem or anything that's bothering me, i keep it to myself. If I'm having problems in Uni, I act like nothing is wrong. If I'm having problems with my sisters or parents or friends, I shut up and pretend nothing is wrong. If I was actually able to sort things out for myself, I'd say this was fine. But the problem is that I can't. When something is wrong, I get really depressed. I tend to blame myself for everything, and I started hating myself, saying "If only I did things differently". During this time, I avoid sitting with my parents and sisters, so they start making fun of me saying that I once again am being annoying which gets me evn more depressed.

I keep thinking that I should talk to someone who can help me sort out my feelings but I can never get myself to do that. I believe that I have to be strong and that I should never show my weak side to my sisters or friends. If I showed it to my friends and talked about my problems at home, they might judge my family. If I talk to my siters about friends, they might make fun of me or judge my friends. So, I keep it to myself. I am at the top of my class and I get good grades to please my mom who thinks I'm a genius when Im really not. Back in school, I was the smart, quiet, polite girl and because of that i couldnt talk about any home problems. I couldnt talk to my mom or sisters because they thought I was an angel too. The pressure is too much, I cant do what I want. Even now in uni, its the same. Im even majoring in something I dont want because I have no choice. Everyone expects me to major in architecture cuz I got good grades im math and physics. But I cant tell anyone because Im supposed to be enjoying myself. Im really depressed now but I cant talk to anyone cuz im "Strong". When I cry alone in the room, I keep praying that someone can walk in on me and see me crying so that they understand without me having to talk. But Im still afraid. I dont know what to do and I dont understand why I do this.

Ok, so apparently its not short :P