iamspecial.....I'm sorry for the loss of your uncle. I understand your feelings or lack there of in some cases. Please try to remember that everyone grieves in different ways. Some hold it in and are strong and only let their feelings out privately, others cry intensely for long periods of time, while others have other emotions come out that don't seem to fit the situation.

What you are feeling is okay right now. Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is your are feeling and know that in your time, you will come to terms with the loss of your uncle. Be gentle with yourself right now, that is so important.

I'll give you a couple of examples of what I went through when I lost my mom and grandmother. When my mom passed, there was a huge amount of anxiety and sadness and me needing to do something, anything. I couldn't sit still. Well, me and some of my family decided to go ten pin bowling the afternoon after we buried mom. Sounds a bit unconventional right? Well, let me tell you, it was the best way for me to get out the anxiety by whipping that bowling ball down the lanes and hearing and seeing the pins smash and fall and fly all over the place. See, my mom was an avid bowler. I felt, what better way to release some of my emotions in a safe way while doing something that my mom really loved to do. It worked very well for me.

When my gram died, I was in the funeral home with all the family. Some of my family is very "stuffed shirt" and one needs to control themselves to the Nth degree. Well, my emotions got me into a laughing jag. Everything I saw was funny. I couldn't help myself. I didn't want to be disrespectful to my grandmother or to our family, but I just could not stop the laughing. I laughed so hard it made me cry and then I laughed some more. Boy did I get dirty looks from some of my uncles......oh well, what could I say? After the service I did apologize to them and let them know that it was my anxiety/emotions that got me there, not that I was welcoming it by any stretch. Luckily, they did say they understood and all was well.

Just know that what you feel is okay.....I wish you well dear.


sabby