Hey twistedmoon, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I don't know if I can be of much help, but I'll tell you this. If I was in your place, I would be scared of losing everything too. If you truly love him, and if you've seen in the past 17 years that he loves you too, then you should be there for him. I don't know what trouble he's suspected to be in, but no matter what, he is my husband. I know he's been ignoring you for a long time and things have been weird, but maybe you should talk to him. What I do when someone gets pissed at me or you know, gets weird, I make a joke of it. If he asks rhetorical, crazy questions to make me feel low or bad, I answer them with a sense of humour. Sure, he'll wanna kill you in the beginning, but then he'll realize that he's being irrational and well, hopefully he'll stop.

I don't know, I hope you get it sorted out