Life is worth living. You are worthy to be alive. Things are bad right now, really bad... but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Tell us, do you have other family that you can stay with? Do they look after you? If so, I think you should ask them for help, try to get to see a doctor, or therapist... I can't imagine how lonely you must have felt when you were taken at such a young age to Mexico, unable to communicate with others, at the mercy of your mum's boyfriend, and living on such a poor diet.

But far from things getting worse, they can get better. Please hang on in there, and we'll try to help you. There must be someone in the US who can help advise you as to how to get a therapist, or get into rehab, or get a doctor to help you with your depression.

Stay strong... you're already stronger than you know. You've survived, you've hung on for the sake of another person... your mother. That is selfless love, no matter how angry you've been with her. She obviously has problems of her own, yet you've loved her, even if it doesn't feel like it. You could have utterly rejected her, but you stayed alive for her sake. You're a brave and decent human being, who has been hurt, and is hurting. But things can get better. You've been knocked down... you'll get up again (to quote a British song.) And you'll be stronger for fighting on.

Keep us up to date on this thread... we all want the very best for you.