My SIL is my husbands brothers 2nd wife, 1rst died of cancer at a young age. I likes SIL 1 OK. SIL 2 is from another country but speaks the language well with an accent. She has been married to my BIL for about 3 years. My DH always thought this woman was cold and prayed she really loved my BIL as he is a heck of a nice guy. We were concerned she wanted a green card and his money. She is very materialistic and looks and appearances are everything to her. She visits several times a year and each time we try our best to be gracious hosts and take them out to dinner at least once per visit. Last mothers day, while at dinner at our country club, my SIL stated that my 9 year old daughter wastes too much food and eats like a pig. I was shocked and hurt , made a lame attempt at supporting my daughters picky eating habits and let it slide. She later apologized. The last visit a few weeks ago, after returning from a dinner we paid for, she approached me in my kitchen and asked me why I don't tell my 11 year old daughter to eat better because she is overweight. She asked me why I don't tell her that she will never get a man because of the way she looks and she will never have nice cloths that fit properly. She also said she looked better a few years ago, pretty and thin ( she was on Adderal at the time for ADHD and lost 6 lbs ). The thing is. my daughter is not rail thin but not overweight, just a tall, big kid.

My BIL just called and asked if they could visit and stay overnight because my SIL's sister is visiting and they want to see a local attraction. I just could not say yes to this visit. My feelings are hurt from the last visit. She is rude and goes out of her way to point out or dig up something negative to say to me. Now, all hell broke loose because I said no and my husband would like it to all just disappear. He's not good at confrontation. I feel he could support me and our daughter a little more in this case. As usual, I will look like the bad guy. Am I out of line here? Did I make too much of a big deal about this? My only regret is that I didn't tell her to go to hell during the original conversation. In my opinion, it's just not nice to say something like that about someone else's kid. Any comments would be appreciated because I don't know how to proceed.