You are too much and yes I do so love fancy restaurants!! LOL!!! I also understand about the hand-bashing all too well. I do recognize that with the passing of each Narcissistic relationship I have become less and less tolerable of the inappropriate behavior. Each one has been a "learning" experience for me. They have been a looking glass into my past and have brought about significant change in me and understanding about what my life has been about up until now. I could have won the "codependent" of the year award for what I put up in a couple of instances - but the last one, I was able to let it go without a fight. Huge progress for me....even still, I was unable to recognize it for what it was on the onset...That was what I struggled with the most - I was so angry with myself knowing what I know about all of it and yet I was still duped!!! I couldn't believe it...

Currently, I am being given an opportunity to start a new relationship. I am petrified out of my wits. I don't know how to have a "normal" relationship. This man is the President of a Bank for gosh sakes - and what if VoP - what if the same thing happens???? Narcs are everywhere....and you find them in the most unsuspecting places!!!

I am conversing with this man, he was introduced to me by a mutual friend. On one hand I get excited at the thought that this time may actually be the time for something good and right and real to happen for me...

then the broken record plays again over and over in my mind and I start going through all the "what ifs"

I do know one thing - one more narcissistic relationship would kill me...especially and unsuspecting one. It's like a cruel joke...the universe dangles this lovely carrot in front of you and says here have a nibble - this one is just right for you!! and as soon as you do WHAMO!!! Off comes the mask of the predator!!! The wolf in sheep's clothing emerges and you are left cowering in a corner, sniffling and licking your wounds...

I can't do that again...

and I won't - nor will I be a a codependent martyr I don't care how fancy the restaurant is!!! I would much rather eat at the nearest gag n puke!!

XO

J