I agree that talking this out with someone outside the issue is a good idea. Preferably the two of you together.

It does sound like she is taking out past issues on you, which isn't fair. I'm a little irked by the fact that she says you are a father figure and wants to date you? That weirds me out a little. If a guy reminds me of my dad, the last thing I would want is to date him.

It sounds like she has some real power issues with men. I'm guilty of it but in the opposite way. I don't want a guy to take care of me EVER. And it takes the form of my bf not feeling needed by me. Sounds like she goes the opposite way, and neither are emotionally healthy.

I understand that you want to help her but these are issues she has to face herself. You can't possibly know the feeling of being abused by a family member and she probably feels a little insulted if someone does try to empathize with her because, honestly, no one really knows how that feels.

Bottom line, something needs to be done because, eventually, this will ruin the relationship. I hate to say it but a relationship in this kind of turmoil can't last. She will push you away and make you feel terrible and, I'm sure, she doesn't want that either. Does she know EXACTLY how you feel? I hope you two can find someone to confide in, especially her.