Thanks for your comments :-)

I want to listen to her. I want to discover where my selfishness lies and how it has blocked me from seeing her as she is. I've written a lot of things down -- some things I'll cultivate and share, some perhaps not.

The only problem right now is that my girlfriend is in New Orleans doing volunteer work. I'm sure she wanted the break and enjoys feeling like she's on her own and escaped from everything else, but she has cut off contact, and either I don't remember us talking about that, or she has felt so committed to what she's doing that it has just seemed natural and assumed that she would be out of contact with everyone. But I've just had the fear (irrational, I assume) that she has discovered that she doesn't need me any more and will come back a completely different person. This scares me. I feel like it will all prove to be delusion and I'm suffering from low self-esteem (among other things), but there you have it. I'm trying to discover the nature of my love and attachment. It's hard to do all of this without being able to talk to her, though. But in a way I'm thankful for it, because I feel like I'm growing as a person.

Any advice?