Hi people.

I guess im here writing because strangers are the only people I can talk to.. the only people I can put some faith in.

As the title of my post says, I really, can't do it any more. Can't stand it. I'm 19 and live with my mom, sister, grandmother, cousin, and my mothers boyfriend, all in a one floor apartment and I can't do it.

Being around my mother is the most stressful environment. She has never supported any of my decisions, not one. NOT A SINGLE ONE. Unless its getting a job so she can borrow (and never pay back ) money from me.

Im getting my tax return soon, 1000 dollars, would be more but im giving her money from it, so she can pay her 300 dollar a month court case thing.

With the 1000 dollar's I planned on spending 300, for a plane ticket to visit my boyfriend in IL for a month. But mom says that I shouldnt do that because it's a waste of money. So I decided I don't want to upset her so I wouldnt go and see him.

Then I opted to take some adult karate excersies to try and get in shape, and have a better focus and grasp on things. When mom found out she made fun of me, saying that it would be foolish and people do that at a young age...

She just wants me to give her all my money... and do nothing that I want to do. She never ever ever supported me, not once in my life.

She never went to any open houses when I was in school, never bothered to go to a parent teacher conference, never said 'good job' or 'im proud of you' didn't support the choice to have my son. Never liked any of the guys I brought home, which is only two... Even though they are both nice. She always says that my boyfriend doesn't really care about me...

Plus a whole lot of other things...

I can't breath anymore, my heart always hurts... No one is there for me.. Everyone just laughs at me... Im a big joke...

I can't deal with it anymore, and I really just want to die, so maybe my chest would stop hurting...