When I noticed that I felt attracted to my T I mentioned the "problem" to my T, my T ignored it, I mentioned it again, my T ignored it, and when I ran out of patience and explicitly told my T that I expected him to do something to help me deal with the feelings he caused me he abandoned me and told me to find myself another therapist.

I feel relieved because my T confirmed once and for all my belief that the feelings were obviously not mutual, but I feel resentful toward that person for playing games with me, for making me develop feelings toward him, and then, when he found himself unwilling to help me, for abandoning me and telling me to find myself another therapist.

I wasted time and money and instead of healing got hurt. I became unsure of therapy and afraid of relationships. And worst of all, after seeing the indifference with which my T handled my pain, I ended up with the strange idea that maybe there is nothing wrong with that...

Was it all my fault? Should I have been stronger? Should I have applauded my T for causing me a pain that had nothing to do with the therapy?