Thanks for all the comments. I needed that!!! I was not feeling validated until now. I think, as someone put it very simply, it is a matter of just plain manners. Something I try to teach my young children. To be kind, to be nice and if something nice cannot be said, say nothing. I have a right to be upset at what my SIL said about my dd, I don't want to be treated like that anymore. I just wish I would have spoken up when she originally said it. I'll work on that and maybe next time I will! Thanks for your kind replies.