It will get better trust me I have been there so many times, I have a therapist that helps me see there is a reason to keep going, and you have a great reason your kids. I have been on the end where my step dad took his own life because of depression and what we dont think of is the ones who are left behind hurt and confused. Even though I have wished for it to all end it really doesnt and that keeps me going because I saw and lived first hand the impact of what is left. So no matter how bad it gets always think of the ones who are left. I hope this helps