Squiggle, wow, that is so tough. I can relate, being the mother of 3 grown children. You're right - we are in the habit of sacrificing for our children. It's habit for us and when we don't, we will feel guilty. I know I do and I have.

But, now your daughter is grown. She is an adult. She can choose to be courageous and see a therapist that is unknown to her. That's what I did. I just picked a name out of a list of therapists and called her. I had no idea if I would like her or not. It is a risk but not a horrible risk. If I hadn't resonated with my T, I would have tried another. It's just like going to a new doctor.

So, let your daughter be the adult that she is. You should not have to sacrifice your well-being just because she has decided she doesn't want to go with a therapist she hasn't gotten any recommendations about. I mean, that's what most of us are forced to do and it isn't unusual. Encourage her to make the 'grown-up' step and call the other organization.

Remember - if you had have decided to forgo your own therapy, in the end that wouldn't have helped your daughter at all. There would have been fall out - you losing your own support and what would have been the consequence of that? Also, any lingering resentment you'd have towards your daughter.

So, I believe you made the right decision. We mothers must stop feeling so responsible for our adult children!!!!!!