I will try to be brief as I can. I am a married, middle age, white male, and was sexually victimized the first time by my mother when I was very young and through my childhood, then again when I was 16 that came about from my first counselor and then with my fathers participation. I know I am still insecure today as I was when I was 10, and professionals have only seemed to make matters worse.
Now my question; has anyone here ever experienced having idenity difficulties or people saying you have multiple personalities or what they call being disassociative?
I casually read about this on another site with survivors recently. But then I began to see that it could actually apply to me as well because I have always had to create my identy. I don't actually have one. I do not think this is clinically significant, but it could begin to explain why I can't function socially or work outside our home.
I realize I am new here, and hope I am not being too personal. I have asked this question on another site but have not gotten any response, probably because the people are afraid.
I have tried numerous times over 30 or more years at therapy, but no success due to the lack of theraputic professionalism and overall lack of integrity among providers in this geographic area. I have good insurance, but I have also been victimized twice, the first time seriously from the counselor and my father as mentioned above, but most are just plain incompetent. I can trust people just fine, but I have had my share of having to counsel a 'Dear Abby' counselor more times than I care to remember. And I still get mad thinking about what simple unqualified social workers have billed my insurance company for.
What can be done? Where could I possibly turn to find a competent individual, irregardless of credentials, who could discuss this as well as other matters with me? Travel might be within possibility if required. I am at a point where I must progress.
Thank you.