Quote:
Originally Posted by violetmoons
You are compassionate.Suffering is inevitable
.I have learned I can't trust.Not me.Not others.Trust is a door.Better locked.I think just very much inside myself.Was criticized alot growing up & I stay surface.I get anxious and leave randomly.People interpret it as mean or stuck up.I am not those.Growing up people saw my looks and not my insides.I got attention I didnt want or need.I'd think a guy cared and it always led to one thing.I worry about that.I tried hard in school but didnt get good grades.Couldnt concentrate.I worry about what people think.I cry easy from worrying.I didnt talk alot as a child.I needed my words to be perfect.They never are and I just freeze.Thanks for reading.
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Trust doesn't have to be the first step to stopping your suffering. Be kind to yourself in your thoughts, this will help you more than I can express. It may be an uphill battle, many days are in my experience of trying to be gentle with my own thoughts. Try to separate yourself from the criticisms or misinterpretations you have experienced. They are not you. They only described a facet of you or of someone else's issues, no matter how right, wrong, misguided or abusive they were. Gaining perspective will help.
The most important thing I can stress is you do not have to suffer like this. Suffering may be inevitable but it does not have to be pervasive. You have control over your interpretation of these feelings. If you want to affect change in your thoughts, try not to think in absolutes, as in thinking "I can't trust today," instead of "I can't trust."
I'm trying to get the hang of many of these concepts myself but they are helping. Please be kind to yourself; you deserve peace.