hanners, TheByzantine & Online User, Thank You all for your kind responce and encouragement, I sincerely appreciate it!!! You are right online user I do have a severe phobia regarding being admitted to hospitals, if this could be done in an outpatient clinic or a Drs. office I would go in a minute no problem! The Byzantine; I asked the Cardiologist if I could get a STRONG tranqulizer to get myself TO the Hospital door but they want you to be awake for the procedure so he said I could take a 0.5mlg clonazepam the morning of but nothing more. Clearly he dose NOT understand the severity of the problem. My regular Dr. perscribed those for stress/panic attacks I have sometimes due to family problems and even then I use them very rarely and only use 1/4 of one to regain my composure when needed, 90 of those pills lasted me over 13 months so you can see I don't need them often or in a large dose usually.To give you an Idea how bad this phobia is I need to take a whole one just to log on and discuss this! Everything each of you has said makes perfect sense and I have tried repeatedly to tell it to myself, I've also studied everything I can about this, I've listed every reason I can think up for why it's foolish to be acting this way, I'm even DEEPLY ashamed of my cowardlyness but nothing seems to help. A phobia; atleast my phobia seems to be a unreasonable paralizing fear and every avenue I come up with to try to overcome it is denied to me!? It's not done anywhere but in Hospitals, the tranqulizer(trust me a HORSE tranqulizer wouldn't put me to sleep!) isn't acceptable to the Dr. in any dose that might actually get me there I just don't see any way around this and I don't feel physicians take this phobia seriously enough or even make any real effort to help patients who suffer from it. I tried to explain to this Cardiologist how serious this problem is for me; at first his responce was "well you'll decied to go in or you'll probably die." When I said look I'm here because I want your help but you have to understand this is a real problem for me; I went in the Hospital once after having a miscarrage, they gave me a pill and THREE preop shots to relax me, Murphy"s law being what it is MY O.R. had a problem and had to be recleaned! They left me on the gurney in the hall outside the O.R.... YOU GUESSED IT when they came back I WAS GONE! All that "relax me" medication they pumped in me; NO HELP! I got off the gurney walked back to my room dressed went to the lobby found my husband and made him take me home! I didn't even fall asleep for over an hour after I was finally safe at home! I later finally found a Dr. who would fix things in his office because he was worried about infection/blood loss but it had to be done with no anestetic. But I wasn't IN a Hospital!!! This is the absolute truth, I made NONE of it up and even left out some of the more bizzar aspects, but I have had this phobia since I was a small child and no matter how hard I try or how determined I am to overcome it it always ends up the same way; either I become to hysterical and will even become violent if necessary to avoid GOING to a Hospital or if I absolutely FORCE myself to enter I don't make it TO the O.R. before I'm signing myself back out. I've learned of a place (a university) in N.C. that dose a special MRI that can tell if you've ever had a heartattack, have any weakening of the walls and shows any blockages in the arteries & veins in the heart. I am going to try to go there and have that done for 2 reasons; 1) at this point I don't have much faith in or feel safe that this jerks right and 2) IF he turns out to be right it might be easier to seek help if I could actually SEE there is a problem. What do you guys think? Again THANK YOU so much for responding.