Welcome Ashley.
I understand a little about what you are saying.
For me, I feel like I have to argue or go against my T because I try to sabotage the care she truly feels for me and I am so afraid of her walking away from me that I try to push her away.
I have told her recently that I am afraid that one day T will be over and she won't be in my life....it was good that I expressed my feelings because I have such abandonment issues. I am wondering if you have the same issues and are doing the same thing?