i could so identify with your thread. too long to go into but it's amazing how many things we have in common and our experiences in life. i was in intense therapy the first five years i started. it took time to heal and i still have triggers sometimes that set off the irrational thoughts in my mind. it sounds like we've both found a support system that helps too. i'm 21 years sober in AA and the journey has certainly been worth it cause i learned that i am a worthwhile person. and you are too!!! i encourage you to keep at this in therapy and your support group. it's important we shed the negative self image and replace it with true thoughts about ourselves. my T called it replacing bad tapes with realistic ones. i'm sure you have good friends. you might want to do what i did and make your own-new-family with encircling yourself with ppl that care about you and value you for being really who you are. my new family is wonderful friends. i have limited contact with my real family and have never regretted it. hope you find some help in my post.