Everything else in your post, in my mind, is nothing new. I am not diminishing it in anyway, it is no doubt intense and hard and unpleasent. We all have these kinds of issues to deal with, and given time we do learn how to, to a greater or lessor extent.

The statement highlighted above however concerns me. Ridicule by family is a common enough theme around these parts (sad by true, my father flat refuses to believe that I have a problem), but your trust in your treatment team needs to be absolute. This trust takes time to develop, but never forget, they work for you!

If you have worked with someone for a while and you just don't feel you can trust them, fire them! Of course you need to discuss your concerns with them first, and more likely than not, your fears can be resolved. Simply put, you need to be able to discuss anything in your life that is on your mind. For many years I was caught in the trap of feeling like I couldn't change docs. Once I did, I was sorry I waited so long.

I will chime in with the others. Very brave posting. Thanks for sharing.