Sept the passive aggressive can be a trait or a personality disorder and I am guessing and thats all I can do is guess that these folks you speak of have more of the traits than the disorders..As to the controlling chick and all...from what I know most people who are ..or are perceived to be controlling FEEL very out of control so her perception would be different that yours ..On the HE ...I dont know his childhood he may have been a good actor and done what was expected and nobody even knew the hidden resentment even him..This is just passing stuff to think on ...I would not know how to support him or her cause I do not know them and the whole story but if he is a grown up just making sure he knows the door is open and ditto to her and helping when ./.if./....they ask....They may be perfectly happy as they are and with the partner they have....I dunno but from what you say in your opening thread here ..I just see it as he chose someone to take the fall and put a wedge and he is fine with it so maybe nobody needs support? Has he /she asked for some?