You've touched on a fear of mine as well. I am supposed to have neck surgery - but the idea of being off from work scares me as it leaves me with so much time on my hands....and I fear sinking into a deep depression.

I know that I am at my lowest points when I'm alone at home for a length of time. Most of last summer, my daughter was at her cousin's house - and that's when I battled depression the most.

So, I understand where you are - and it's an awful place to be.

Even though it's the last thing you want to do, doing SOMETHING...ANYTHING....will help even just a teeny bit. You need to dig your way out of this slowly. Even without the willpower, just forcing yourself to do it. It sux, big time, but allowing yourself to stay where you are will only make things darker....

I'm sorry you're feeling this way right now....