So, as some of you may have read in my recent thread, I'm having troubles with my best friend of 3 years. He is basically the other man in a sexual and emotional affair. I was not a fan of it, to put it lightly. It started out sexual and turned emotional and he still felt that the girl should stay with her boyfriend because the boyfriend was capable of handling her bipolar much better than my friend would be able to, but that the two of them (my friend and the girl) could still cuddle, talk and share an emotional bond while she stayed with her boyfriend was fine. When that happened I made it clear that I didn't think he should talk to this girl any more because she needed time to figure out what she wanted; it's not kosher for her to have both boys. My best friend then said that me and him should not talk for awhile.

The whole thing upsets me so much because my best friend is making poor choices and I understand the feelings of betrayal that come with cheating and it bothers me that he is okay with inflicting that on another human being.

We haven't talked in over a week. We have gone this long without speaking before, but never on purpose. I'm extremely angry and hurt, both because I feel that he is being irresponsible, selfish, and simply not someone I want to be friends with, but also because I feel he is throwing away our friendship for this girl and his own selfishness. Part of me wants to send him a message and part of me wants to wait for him to talk to me. I feel like if I send the message first, I've caved and admitted what he is doing is okay. But I also want him to know how angry I am and that I am not taking his silence lightly. A mutual friend suggested I simply send a message that says "Hey, how are you?" just to get us talking again. I feel more like sending a message along the lines of "Now I know the true depth of your change from the person I became friends with since you have decided to put this girl between us. I remember a time when you said that would never happen..." Or even just an angry, ranting email.

I just don't know what to do. Message him or not? If yes, then what kind of message? I feel like I cannot just let this friendship dissolve into nothing without saying something, but at the same time, I feel like saying something would bring it back to where it was before all this happened, which is not really what I want either.

Please tell me what you would do... This is driving me crazy and making me extremely angry, frustrated, and hurt.