I saw T today. The good news: she says we will revisit trauma work, later, not right now. Anytime T says something like that it makes me feel good because it's assuming that there will BE a later, which means she's not thinking it's about time I stopped coming to see her.

Sort of confusing/unexpected: T asked me how I would feel about doing an intensive, 8-12 week anxiety protocol. She didn't tell me what the name of it is, but she said it involves a combination of symptom tracking and relaxation exercises, so to me that sounds like of like the typical CBT-type anxiety therapy, yeah?

She said "we will have you anxiety free in 8-12 weeks" but she said it with a laugh, which was good because in no way do I believe that will happen. I told her as much, and she said, "well, I can tell you that I really believe we can significantly decrease your anxiety in that time." I told her I would try it if she thinks it will help and not hurt. She said she will make sure it doesn't hurt, lol.

The bad news: spent most of the session talking about my 16 year old son and his issues and how they effect the family. Which was important, but didn't feel really good to me because I only have 50 mins, you know? I want to go there and feel like it's about ME. I told "I'm spending all my time today talking about (my son), and when I go home I have to pick up (my son) and then I have to deal with (my son) and his interactions with his siblings all night. It's all (my son), all the time."

Anyway, none of that is the bad news. The bad news is, T told me again that she doesn't know how to help me with parenting, in particular the challenges of parenting an ODD teen. What she said was, I don't know what I would do in that situation, either.

Boy, do I not like to hear that. I need to feel like T is helping me, or at least is trying to. I need to feel like there IS help out there. My T has 20+ years experience and has worked with adolescents extensively, especially ones with ODD, BPD, etc. If she's telling me that she doesn't know what to do, it makes me feel really, really hopeless about ever figuring it out myself.