Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveart
Are you willing to say more about how you felt unable to separate from him? I feel the same way but thought it was just a natural bond that has developed...
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I definitely felt a bond, but I also felt very frustrated by the fact that my T did not have skills in dealing with positive/loving transference and limited skills addressing sexual trauma. I communicated my frustrations in writing (a pro/con list!) and verbally.
My logical self said "Go! Move on!" but my emotional self said "He's so great, you'll never find someone else who is such a great fit!".
So, we were stuck - he wasn't altering his approach and he wasn't providing me with a referral. I was frustrated but too attached to leave. My logical self finally won, after 2 tense months. The day I went in to say "I've got to terminate" was the day he announced that he was leaving.
@charlie13 - yes, the guilt and shame of loving this person was very intense and it continues even now, 9 mo after terminating. Thankful I do not have to cross paths with exT.
@milkblood - I can't agree that all therapists are trained to deal with erotic or loving transference. It may be a topic that is covered, but I think most are stuck learning on-the-job. My exT trained in the early 1990s and had no recollection of getting such training.