I was strong, but not at all manic when I took this job. I hate being alone but that is a choice my wife and I made together. I can't handle the stress of the job I am in but I may have an option to take another position within the company that will allow me to walk away at the end of the day and not worry about work. My pdoc is 750 miles away and I have not been able to find one in my new city. I was unemployed for 17 months and am very grateful to even have a job. The unemployment rate is about 18 percent at home and there is no real work there. I need to make this work. I am going to make it work even with the stress and mixed episodes. I have no choice other than to return home and be unemployed again...this time without unemployment insurance. So I just need to suck it up and deal with it.