This is also how I have felt today. I hate the cycle that I go thru on a daily basis. I always wanted more for myself and now, I'm not sure I will ever go anywhere, see anything or be anybody. I'm so unimportant. I bust my butt for nothing. I hate the way this all comes in waves. One day, all is bright, the next the world is crashing down around me. I hope tomorrow the sun comes back out because otherwise I need to find my rock to crawl under. I have made decisions in my life that my friends and family have not necessarily agreed with. Some of those decisions they blame for the way my life is today. Maybe, maybe not. I'm not sure how to make myself happy, but getting artistic and creativity out of you is a release.