The pulling away and having trouble reaching out are, for me, signs that I am giving up on myself. Who cares what happens to her? No one else, obviously, so why should I bother?

I can sympathize with reaching out and having no quick or supportive response. That really hurts and I'm sorry it's happened to you. Sometimes you are the only one that can fight for you, as hard as that it.

I hope you feel better and get the support you need soon.