Hi Lex,

This is only my own view, but my worst panic attacks have come when I am forcing myself to do something that I really don't want to do.

If there is something that I do want to do, then I find that it's worth pushing myself, but if I really don't want to do something then these days I give myself a break and don't do it.

I guess the bottom line is whether we are living a reasonable life within our abilities, just as regular people do. I certainly don't let others pressure me into a position I don't want. That has happened too much in my early life, and it wasn't good for me.

So, while I agree that it's good to challenge ourselves, I think we need to be really clear about the challenges, and think about what we really want in our lives and what we don't want. We might have anxiety problems, but we are still people with choice and preferences.

What do you really want? It feels from your post that you have a strong desire to be near your Dad, and yet you also want to please your boyfriend. Is this a 'tug of love'?

Good thoughts, M