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Originally Posted by BNLsMOM
...Whenever I have a session with him and we talk about an episode, I tell him that I want to get better, that I want this bad stuff to stop happening. Well, last time I hinted that I wanted to use a bunch of pills to just stop time for myself for a while, not to kill myself, .
.... I have a serious disorder. Am I happy? No. Do I want it? No.
Do I want to get better? I don't know...
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BNLsMOM. To the first part, yeah, I've done that with my psych. Asked her if she could write an Rx for a club on the head to knock me unconscious. On more than one occasion. It's kind of a joke, but at the same time, it's really not. Not sure she really understood just how very badly I needed a serious time out. (Which is my fault for making it jokish, because... see bottom of post.)
To the latter. Sigh. I often wonder this and feel guilty in the midst of the devoted. For me, getting better is only a short term goal of making things more bearable. Just to get through. I'm not a long term thinker and act accordingly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BNLsMOM
.. I tell the truth about when I don't feel well, but I don't think I let on how badly I feel.
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Me too.
So is your appt. today, BNLsMOM? Please let us know how it goes...
