Wow!

The man is in therapy, actively working on his problems and has opened up to her about some very painful and troubling issues. Maybe he isn't "healthy" but does that mean that "unhealthy" people don't deserve to be loved or can't offer more good than bad in their relationships?

I don't have the clinical answers to your questions, Riseandconquer, but I do know that being in a relationship with someone who has emotional troubles is a lot of hard work. So is being in a relationship with someone who is untroubled. It's just a question of how hard that work is and how willing you are to do it. I think that you should try and get the answers to your questions and perhaps also try to come to terms with the limits of how much work you're willing to do, how patient you're willing to be and what is the lowest point you're willing to set the bar on the expectations you have of your partner. Once you figure those things out, the next step is making an agreement to yourself to identify when those limits have been stretched to the breaking point and be willing to make some changes. Whether those changes are to yourself, your situation or your expectations is up to you. I just think those are the only things you can actually change. The changes your partner might make are completely out of your control.

If you can live with that and manage your expectations, I think you'll be okay. Sometimes, loving someone takes a certain bravery, doesn't it?

Best wishes to you for a successful and happy outcome.