Thank you so much everyone. I'm going to take the risk of noone ever replying to me ever again, and say that the responses have made me feel even more ashamed. I feel so sorry that you all suffered so much when you were little, and that you had to present a happy front to the world. It makes me feel guilty because nothing terrible ever happened to me... so the fact that my life didn't fit and I couldn't be happy or get what I needed doesn't make any sense, unless there is something badly wrong with me. And I'm afraid that's what T will see- a little girl who has everything and still isn't happy. I was loved, I was. But today T will see that no love was ever be enough for me, and she'll stop even trying to be enough for me.