Hey everyone, thank you so much for your concern. My pdoc is away until next week. I agree that there was definitely hypomania taking over but then during the weekend I could not move. I felt exhausted to crashing point although my brain was restless. Sat at the sofa for about 35 hours getting up only for food and toilet. Even shower was out of the question. I felt like a robot that had not been programmed to do anything and didn't have batteries either. That weird sleep paralysis and the strange sort of hallucinatory dreams didn't help. Late Sunday and Monday I was getting paranoid that somehow I have made everything up and I don't deserve any help, that I just think too much, that I don't try hard enough etc etc and that it's my reactions that are faulty, not brain chemistry. But I got talked out of this paranoia, at least on a 'what I believe regardless of what I feel' level, and I managed to relaxed a bit and on Monday night I finally had 7 hours sleep. Now I feel ok, but on the edge. So I don't know what's all that, mixed? Rapid cycling? Unidentified? Or am I actually emotionally mad?

My mum is visiting next week and the advice I got from the only therapist I could reach was to take things easy, try not to think or explain any of what's happening, just keep myself as calm as possible away from triggers until I can see a pdoc. And if things get worse see a GP to get a proper sedative or something...So I have been away from PC because I'm trying not think about how I feel...