I'm going to keep coming back to this, too. I agree completely about finding ways of interrupting patterns. I am re-educating myself to not think in such absolute terms. Life won't always be like this. It can't be, there has to be a break somewhere, but I think it's going to be up to me to find it rather than waiting for circumstances to dictate when and where.

I guess it all comes down to taking a more direct role in my own feelings, whether it's happiness or sadness or despair. It's a process, and I need to work on treating it as such rather than expecting things to change for the better suddenly.

I have to admit, this has been the hardest struggle I've faced. I've been spoiled by the ease in which I learn many things, so struggling to learn these emotional concepts has been very difficult. Time, patience and hard work will be the key here, not quick fixes. There may be no solutions to the external events that occur in much of my life but there are solutions within to change how I deal with these events.