Hi all.
I just joined.... have been a lurker for a while. I started T a year ago. I have seen other T's before, but never had any kind of connection with them at all. This has been so different and so new. I count down the days until I see her again and think of her as someone I don't want to imagine not having in my life. I would not have made it through the last year without her.
She is more patient with me than anyone has ever been. And I trust her more than anyone in the world, but have such a hard time talking to her. Everything she knows about me is because of email. After our 3rd session I emailed her and just spilled my guts with everything. For months she responded to every email, too. Not so much anymore. She says I hide when I email and then refuse to talk about anything face to face. She still lets me email, just doesn't respond usually.
She hasn't given up on me yet, though and I am grateful for that. She has even told me that I am her favorite client by far.... And I feel like I disappoint her a lot and I just want to stay her favorite client. I want to talk and for her to say that she is proud of me and hug me. And she does all this even though she does say she gets frustrated with me for hiding and not working as hard as I could be and letting my fears get in the way.

I am a little nervous about posting this. Not sure why, just feeling a little weird about it and hope it is ok.