Thanks. Actually the 'should' statements were in anticipation of what I felt others may tell me to do rather than what I'm telling myself. At the moment I am indulging in self pity quite a bit and not getting out of bed if I really don't have to. I'm trying to do little things though like going for a coffee and going to the evening class I do etc just to keep myself ticking over so it isn't a complete massive shock when I go back to work in a wk or two. That is what I dread the most, going from allowing myself space to having to go back to being really strict with myself again.

I'm really not doing well in therapy. I've been numb for the last few days so when I went to therapy I had nothing to say because I felt nothing. This always makes her want to talk about how it feels for me when we can't connect etc because it is a big difference from when we do connect etc. But it is seriously pointless talking to me about my feeling of connection to her when I'm not connected to my feelings!....although needless to say I finally connected with my feelings after 50mins of that dribble as I just got plain angry at her!! So now I'm angry and depressed which is a bad combination.

I dunno, I know I shouldn't be angry at her, it isn't her fault I feel this way and she is trying to help. I hate feelings.