I understand.

I have a 3-year-old daughter too. It is painful, but I also find it validating too because I look at her and I realize that the things that happened to me at her age were in NO WAY my fault, and I deserved all the love that she deserves, you know?

SO, it's extremely painful. But I also find it healing giving my daughter everything I should have had. It's healing for me to watch her with her daddy too. Like a small piece of me is nurtured by watching her get nurtured.

As for T, I get that too. I told my oldT that I wish I could go back and she could have been my mommy. She said she wishes she could have been there for me back then too.

I bet your T feels the same way.