tree: Yes, I have guilt about "running away" when my Mom was sick and dying. My T is trying to get me to see that "I did the best I could". Thanks for understanding and for all the hugs.

granite: you're really special and make me feel loved. Thank you.

pachy: I don't know how to answer you. It's been hard work all these years wanting my Ts to be what they can't be. It would be better to let that go. Is that what you mean?

Omers: This is the first time I've told my T that I hate her. I like her so much so it's weird. Could be I'm angry with my mother for dying and my T for only being my T. She can hold my hand but it's not completely taking away the grief. You're so right.

lastyear: I didn't think of it that way, that I'm being a good parent to myself. Thanks!

Sannah: I hope so. Thank you.

Peaches: Yes, I'm grieving for my Mom and because my T can't be her. I hurts doubly but it's all the same. I hope it will help. Thanks.

inbloom: I'm sorry for your losses. I really hope that I'm going to heal from this. I can't stand to keep going from T to T to get what I can't ever truly have from them. It hurts too much to do that anymore. It's hard to accept that I minimized the effect of my Mom's death but I think I did.