In some ways it's kinda nice that you know the day that your father died. There was so much trauma that I went through at the end of my Mothers life & I even ended up in & out of the medical hospital because of it & the huge loss of weight that it caused me that I only remember that she died a couple of hours after I went back into the hospital & have no idea what day in January it actually was. Remember the exact dates of the abuse that happened because of dealing with the police, but by the time she died of the cancer, I had no idea of what day it was anymore.....it's all just one huge blur....it seems like it would be kinda nice to have the memory that you have even though I know how hard it is