I am really feeling horrible. No matter what I do it is wrong. I asked my sister for $20 to buy a bus pass so I can get to school until my student loan comes in. She went off horrible on me. She chastized me, belittled me, and told me I was causing problems not just in her marriage but also with my father. That was 3 days ago. I know this is stupid but facebook is my only communication with my friends and family right now. It is all that I have. She has gone so far as to block me. This was not good enough- her next move was to post it on her home page so all my family members can see it. She has also been in contact with my bestfriend of 10 years telling her how horrible of a person I am. Now none of my relatives are talking to me either. I do feel that she is compounding the situation- if not trying to sabatoge me. Not that there is anything left to sabatage.

This has set off such emotions that I felt like I was going to have a stroke during the night. I just can't seem to get over this hump of everything going wrong. I am feeling like I have lost complete control in my relationship, coping, and living skills. My family is everything to me and all I have right now. I feel like I am losing that too.

I am feeling so incompetent and stupid right now. The stress does not help much either.